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This is a Motherfucking Stickup.

Updated: Dec 5, 2022

INTERVIEW BY MOLLY SIMMONS


Welcome to the stickup. Bria Bada$$ aka Bria the Goddess laid it down with Petit Mort for this feature. She talked about her work as a femme-domme, Black dominatrix, and kink educator here in New York City. From puppy play to Black history, Bria goes above and beyond with all her work.


PETIT MORT (MOLLY SIMMONS)

Why don’t you start by telling me a little bit about yourself, how you got started, and what your journey has been like through the industry.


BRIA BADA$$

I started as a pro-Domme, this year marks five years exactly that I’ve actually been getting paid from when I transitioned to pro. My friends always thought I would be into something like that because my natural presence is very dominant. I’m very much a boss, in charge. I started doing my research and getting more educated about BDSM. Learning more about fin-Domme, more about domination, and different types of domination—I started my education, and then I got kind of brave. Findom, which is financial domination, can be done anywhere.. you can do it from your home, you don’t ever have to be seen to do financial domination. So I said, “let me try this way first, it’s a little safe for me.”

So I made my Twitter handle, I made my email, I made all my precautions and things like that. Let me try. And I started putting up little ads and when you’re a baby-Domme, you kind of start and have to deal with a lot of losers and you have to really verify yourself. There are subs who don’t know who you are yet, so they might think it’s kind of a scam. Lots of time verifying who you are & if you’re a “real” person. After a while of me doing that, I finally was able to get somebody to look at me, got a sub, and I got my first $50. So when it first happened, I was like,“oh my god, this is real. Like, this is really real.” Now I think that might have pushed my adrenaline. I’m like, yeah, I gotta try it again. I start taking more pictures and doing more. Next thing you know, I’m getting sessions now, and I’m getting an increase in sessions. Now I have to get comfortable with this. So I do more research, and I happen to bump into Mistress Marley. I ran over her page, and I wanted to find Black women who were into domination who were already in the field, who are already doing financial domination, and I was like, “I need to get next to this girl.”

We got really cool, I made my acquaintance with her and we start trading notes and things like that, and I further my education on my own. I started doing more and then I got the courage to step out. I said alright, let’s try an in-person session. Of course, I had my first in-person session and I don’t think the sub even knew that I was a novice at the time but I went in with the dominance like I’ve been here before, but that first session is what let me know to be myself. You have to be yourself as a Domme.


You have to learn to get in where you fit in, and I learned my strengths—puppy training and humiliation—I’m heavy on humiliation because I’m really funny. I’m not really sadistic. I’m not into blood. I’m not really into scat, which is the poop play—I’m not really into that. But would I punch you and rob you? Yes. Would you like fantasy robbery? Yes. Do you want me to come and put you in a headlock and put you in a van and then bring it to a place with you hog-tied? Yes. I’m here for all of those things. I love fantasy Domme-ing.


PM

Has someone asked for that—have you done that?


BB

Yes.


PM

Amazing.


BB

My slogan is, “this is a motherfucking stickup.” People know me for, “I want everything you’ve got.” A lot of people started kind of associating it with robbery so I’m running with it. Of course, we have the permission and the consent to do it, I’m not just walking around, punching people in the face and telling them to give me all their fucking money. My first time doing it, we set it up. He said, “You know, I want to be caught by surprise.” So I said, this is where you stand, stay here and let the magic happen. And I went and took all the money out of his pockets. And I know it was a thrill for him, but yeah, that’s what started it. That’s what opened me up to different forms.


PM

Were you in public?


BB

Yeah, this is public.


PM

And you weren’t worried about your own safety of other people thinking that you were robbing someone?


BB

Well, it was nighttime by the promenade downtown. And it’s kind of lowkey, I chose a spot that I know wouldn’t have looked crazy if I did what I did. Yeah. So we had to set it up like that, he was just kind of standing facing the city. And I just ran down like “Gimme what you got.” you know, but he already knew what was happening. Made it quick, made it fast.


PM

Amazing.


BB

I just started taking my Domination a different way. I really tailored it to me and how I am. My other Domme friends, they call me the gangster Domme. I do whatever I want. That’s where the badass thing comes from, I really just do whatever the fuck I want. If it makes me laugh, I’m doing it. I’m gonna let you walk to hits from Rihanna & Bey and sing songs for me. It’s really about what I like. So yeah, I had to find out who I was. And here we are today.


PM

So did you start as a lifestyle Domme before you moved into being paid for it?


BB

I don’t want to say I was a lifestyle Domme. I was practicing financial domination before I knew what it was. If guys I dated tried to “spin the block” or talk back to me, I would make them pay me to talk back to me. If not, stay blocked. You wasting my time, you will pay for it, stuff like that. I was already doing this before I knew it was a real thing. When I learned you do this to a random submissive guy who’s trying to give you money for nothing but my beautiful pics or just for my attention, I was sold.


THIS IS NOT YOUR MOM’S DOMINATION ANYMORE. IT’S A WHOLE DIFFERENT BALL GAME NOW.

PM

Your style is very unique. I think a lot of the people we talk to are sensual Dommes or mommy Dommes. It’s nice to meet a hardcore—you’re like “I’m a brat.”


BB

I’m the brat. It’s my way or the highway. My other Domme friends, they’re all sensual, they’re the nice ones. They’re more sensual touch, I’m ready to punch you in your face. Like get down, I’m not playing with you.


PM

Love it. And I love how much you stressed educating yourself at the beginning. I think sometimes that can really be missing from the BDSM community.


BB

Heavy on that.


PM

I would love to hear more about how you yourself moved into being an educator.


BB

Me becoming an educator came from the purpose of me educating myself. I felt like I didn’t have someone else to really talk to to find the information that I needed. I’m sure there were other women who were probably thinking like me, like I would love to know more about this but who do I go to? A lot of older Dommes, a lot of people who’ve been in the BDSM community a long time, they can be a little gatekeeperish. They don’t want to tell you things, they don’t want to fill you in when you’re a young Domme. They’ll be like, “Oh, well, you know, I did this, I did it that way.” Domination is not the same as it used to be. This is not your mom’s domination anymore. It’s a whole different ball game now.

So, you know, you go in and you want help, but no one’s helping you. So my thing was, I’m sure there are girls out here who want to do this or probably even thought about doing the smallest part of domination like feet Domme-ing or without face, and they don’t know how to go about it. And I felt like why not share the information? Because I know how hard it was for me to find information. I know how hard it was to find other Black women who could share that information with me—I didn’t even really meet other Black Dommes until I got in the game. That’s what made it unique for me, but when you’re coming in you don’t always find the information that you need.


PM

I feel like the sex work community can be really gatekeeping sometimes. I feel like people have really struggled and so when it comes to new people, they’re like, “Well, I had to struggle and figure it out on my own and you do too.”


BB

They tell you figure it out. Or they tell you things like “ I used to apprentice under this Domme and I worked in this dungeon”. And I understand that, but this is not the same game anymore. This is a whole new era.


PM

So it sounds like this was the creation of the Charm School, right?


BB

Definitely. Charm School.


PM

I was gonna ask if the name had anything to do with Flava Flav’s Charm School.


BB

A little bit, a little bit. That’s my show. I’m thirty-three, that was my show. Charm School just related to sissification for me so much because it really goes hand in hand. You want to be a lady, then this is how you’re going to be a lady. You’re gonna know how to walk, how to talk, you’re gonna learn how to do makeup and prepping and how to clean, how to walk in heels, these are the things that you’ve got to learn. I definitely correlated it, for sure.


Charm School is really school. I fell in love with sissification. Because it’s like I get to be one of the girls. I get to teach you how to be me, kinda. When they come to me first it’s like okay, you’re gonna wear this dress. I get to dress you like a dolly—it’s fun for me. So I said why not? I’m sure there’s other women or other Dommes or other sex workers who are probably into this kink or exhibiting this kink in their work and they’re like, What the fuck do I do with them? Sometimes you don’t know what to do. You’re coming in as a young Domme, you might want to get into this, but you don’t know what to do, so I decided to make a class for everybody. It was a four-course class. Everybody is set up with a syllabus and courses. You get your outfits, you choose outfits with a Domme and you get dressed up. I believe it was dressing, nails and hair, learning how to strut, and learning how to dance—That was my topic at Charm School this time.


I THINK I DECIDED TO SHARE MY KNOWLEDGE BECAUSE OF HOW MUCH I HAD TO LEARN ON MY OWN IN THE BEGINNING.

PM

So this is a class that Dommes and subs take together?


BB

Yep. The Dommes and sub are taking it together, so if you’re a sub and you want to come and get some training? Choose your Domme. And then if they’re dominant, you want to get some new things to do? Choose your sub. So you can pair up, you can work with this one, work with that one... that was the point of making it comfortable for everybody. So these are subs who are into sissification, and want to learn, or if you want to watch, come on out.


PM

That’s amazing. How many years have you been doing that?


BB

This is actually my first year.


PM

Congratulations. I love that. Where did you host it, at your dungeon?


BB

I rented a space over in Brooklyn. And they kind of had to go in and decorate it but it was really nice. You get more connected to community. You might find yourself a submissive here that might like you, that might want to work with you further. You might find someone that works for you. That’s the point.


PM

I love that you have so many creative projects going on. It’s really, really inspiring. Can you talk to me about your podcast, Creme de la Rem?


BB

Oh, my podcast. Oh, they shut me down. But during quarantine, I had an awesome time. Creme de la Rem was tearing up the airwaves. I decided to make my podcast, at first I just based it on anything sex-related: sex work, sex this, anything sex in fashion, sex in sneakers, sex in this. I decided to launch it during quarantine. I would go live every Friday until Instagram clipped my page.


PM

Oh no.


BB

We were having so much fun. I had live DJs, I would do sexy music, different playlists, just different things. I love to have that community, a sense of people that feel free to talk about sex as open as possible with. I was asked questions and it was just a lot of fun, I had a great audience because of quarantine. But they shut me down. I really gained some really cool followers. A lot of people who found me from Creme de la Rem started coming out to my events, when I had events in person. Even if they’re not into dominance, I think they’re just interested in me and then what I do so they come out to support. So that worked out pretty well, but I might actually bring it back on a streaming [service].


PM

What takes priority in your life, like your domination work, or these other creative projects that you have going on?


BB

Definitely my domination work because if I wasn’t doing my domination work, the other things wouldn’t trickle from it. Bria is the umbrella and everything else has come with it. A few years ago, nobody even really knew what I was doing. It only became a public thing because I did a video on my birthday and it was me walking a sub on a leash. It was Juneteenth. I made him learn the Black national anthem, and he had to sing it at my birthday party for everybody. I made all my friends dress up as Dommes and I made a really big video. I didn’t know this video went so big the way it did. Now everybody’s intrigued and it became a public thing. I told my family and everybody and they were just like, “Well, okay, you’re gonna do it anyways,” and I sure am.


PM

Wow, I love that. So it was Juneteenth, and you made them learn the Black national anthem. Was this a white sub, I’m assuming?


BB

Yes, he’s from Ohio. He drove nine hours to come to my birthday party. And he showed up and he showed out. I told him to learn the Black national anthem and he learned it for my party. He sang it to everybody. He did good.. He worked really hard.


PM

Do you include a lot of racial education with your white subs?


BB

For sure. I have a degree in history. I always make them write essays. I always educate them. I make them do different things depending on the month or what I’m feeling. If I feel like making you learn the kings and queens of Egypt, I’m gonna make you do that. If I want to make you learn about the oppression of the Black state, I’m gonna take you there. I’m gonna make you read things and do things because that’s just me. If you love Black women, if you care about us, you’re gonna learn about us. I’m heavy on that.


PM

I love that again, always coming back to education is such an important aspect of domination. It shows a level of care. How do you work with your subs to create a safe environment where they feel safe enough to be vulnerable, and also open enough to explore all this new information, which a lot of people are probably not asking them to do?


BB

One thing I will say, when the subs come to me, they know what’s up. Especially now, they’ve probably already heard, they’ve already seen how I am. I’m very straightforward. I think they know like, “okay, she’s gonna come with something,” but you’ll never know what to expect from me. I feel like once they get in, they’re like, “I’m in your presence and listening to you is my gift.” This is how I do things. You can either get with it or you don’t have to.

You love Black women? You love to pay us. This is why. This is how we do this. This is why we are the way we are. You’re gonna learn about this, you’re gonna respect us. So this is my way of teaching the respect and value of it. So yes, you might lust after us but you got to pay some respects here. In between me probably humiliating you and stuff like that, you’re also going to do something on your downtime, and then send me an email for me to read, and then we can move forward. That’s also a part of the tribute for me. It’s the things you’re gonna learn.


PM

At this point, do you feel like you’re receiving the type of clients that you want?


BB

You’ll still get a bullshitter here and there, you’ll still get a time waster. But have I reached a point where it’s like, “wow, I never thought it’d be like this and it’s a pretty good list right here?” Yes, definitely. I always have returning clients. I have my clients who are always consistent. It’s a really good fill because I know I have these specific people or whatever. I think I’ve gotten to a good point. But you’ll always have the time wasters. You always have people that reach you like, “Oh my god, Goddess, I love you.” —Okay, so pay me.


PM

I get that a lot. I’m not even a dominatrix but they write to me like, “Goddess, I want to worship you.” I’m like, “Okay, here’s my CashApp.” And they’re like, “No, you gold digger.”


BB

I kid you not. I just send my CashApp. If you don’t answer this, you’re blocked—Why are you here?


PM

Exactly. One thing that we were thinking a lot, especially for your piece is the concept of a mindfuck and mindfucking. how you as a Domme get your sub to a point—especially as this relates to findomme— where all he wants to do is give you his money.


BB

I’ve learned how to make them obsessed with me. One thing is for sure—making them wait. Making them wait is the ultimate mindfuck. Responding when you want. And don’t say thank you. Don’t say nothing like that. You’re just like, “Okay, do some more.” Or “double it” I think the passiveness of it, because we’re really passive aggressive and nonchalant.

That’s because they want to be your favorite. Usually all my subs work to be my favorite. They want to be the top one. I put them all in a chat once like, listen, “May the best man win. So now what?” That’s how I got my Macbook.


PM

What does aftercare look like in a findomme relationship? How do you create a space where they are obsessed with you and they want to be treated like dirt, but also they feel valued enough in some way that they want the relationship to continue over months and months.


BB

What I’ve realized with findom is how they receive praise, because we don’t say thank you, they like when you say “Good boy. Oh, this was a good one.” Kind of giving that affirmation. You’re confirming with them that they’re doing their part. When they feel solid, they just feel like, “I have to do more because she likes this.” If they’re going after things that you like, or you put it out there and they’re doing it, and you’re giving an affirmation, like, “Oh, good job. Now give me another one.” Now they’re like, “oh, my gosh, she likes it. Let me do more.” So I really think that’s what it’s about—more affirmations. And also, when you have your finsubs and stuff, you kind of build a little bit of a relationship because they think about you all the time. They offer things to you. They might be like, “Oh goddess, did you see these sneakers ? Do you like this?” And you sort of build a relationship in that way.


PM

How did you get into puppy play?


BB

That’s my first love. That’s my first love. I like big dogs. Pitbulls, Rottweilers, the gangster ones. I think that turned into me when I seen a woman walking a man on a leash, I was just like, “this is fire. How do I do this?” So that’s probably what really drew me the first time to physical domination, I had to learn more. He loves to be a pup or they’re doing more than just walking on the leash. There’s play, there’s fetch, there’s scolding your puppy, there’s so many different parts to it.

I think that’s my first kink I really dove into because I wanted to know how to walk them on leash, but I also wanted to know where it came from. So when I learned where it came from, it was like, “Oh, I like this. This is cool.” And that was my first big kink, and everyone knows me as the pup trainer.


PM

Do you have a lot of puppies now?


BB

I have two but one is in Texas, and one is here. He’s been back and forth, we haven’t had a session in a little while. He actually hit me up during the weekend. Usually when he hits me up, he says he’s about ready to see me and have some fun. We do Skype sessions weekly and we’ll do training with him or whatever. Then I have my in-person sub out here.


PM

Do you take him out in public?


BB

When he wants to, but usually it has to be a late night. And depends on where we are. Yeah, it’s pretty cool with the inside, the cage and everything like that.


PM

What is your domination style with puppies? Is it still very bratty?


BB

I don’t accept brats. I’m the brat. Usually, the pups that come to me are really playful, which is fun for me. I’m not as dominant in that sense, I’m not as bratty. I’m probably more into puppy mom, or if you’re a puppy that’s not doing well I get the newspaper like “bad puppy!” you know, I might scold you. But other than that they just like to play, they want to be spanked lightly. They want to tussle, they want to be put in the cage for a little while. They might want to fetch, but I think I go into dog mommy mode a little bit. I’m not as bratty cuz it’s kind of fun.


I don’t want to be mean. It’s really playful. I probably would give more compliments as a puppy versus my regular subs, personal treats. That’s what puppies are like. Once you’re in that space with that sub, we’re in a Domme-sub space. It’s a puppy. You’re a pup mom and you’re having fun.


WE DON’T SAY THANK YOU, THEY LIKE WHEN YOU SAY “GOOD BOY”



PM

Does domination feel like something that’s very personally empowering for you as a woman—and as a Black woman—to have this relationship with men?


BB

It’s always empowering to me because as a Black woman, a lot of other Black women never believe that this can happen for them. They always think that it’s never happened. But a girl like me—I’m a very much Brooklyn girl at the heart, I’m from Bed Stuy—a girl like me from the hood is doing this, it can be done. You can do it. It’s not out of the bubble. You know what I’m saying? I think that really plays a part in who I am and what I show.

As a Black woman, a lot of people take even sex as just a taboo thing. It’s not talked about. I always talk to people casually about sex, specifically with Black people, because when they hear these type of words, they get funny. That’s what we definitely always say, I’m not gonna lie. But when I addressed it I’m like, no, it’s not just a white people thing. We all have kinks, little pleasures, and things that we like. When I break it down to them in simple form. Everybody has a kink. Do you like feet? Most men like feet. Like, you don’t even know that you’re approaching the minor forms of it. People do it naturally, but you don’t know what you’re doing, you’re just doing it. This is the educational part.

[There are a lot of people] feeling like they shouldn’t be as open with it as they should. And I make it comfortable for you to express who you are, and be comfortable and say it. Like I say, I’m just a regular girl from the hood. I’ve just educated myself to go further to be able to spread knowledge with my homegirls and normal, regular people who are afraid to have certain conversations. I like that portion of me just being a sex worker in general. That’s even beyond domination because I really feel like dominatrix... we kind of are like healers. I really feel like it’s therapeutic for you because you’re in your space, and you get to trust me with that space. Then when you come out of that space, it’s like, “Wow, I got to experience something different. I got to get off this energy that I needed to get off and I feel much better because I was able to fulfill my kinks.” Or to fulfill what I needed fulfilled.






BRIA BADA$$ INTERVIEWED BY MOLLY SIMMONS

PHOTOS BY PENELOPE DARIO


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