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Making It Last Longer

Updated: Oct 31, 2023


It’s a conversation that is inevitable at some stage in our relationships. At a certain point of knowing someone, it can feel like we know absolutely everything about them. It’s an age-old question—how do we keep the spark alive in a long-term relationship? Whether you’re monogamous or non-monogamous, once you’ve spent a long period of time with a partner, it’s very normal to fall into a pattern of domesticity or routine, both in and out of the bedroom. This is not necessarily a bad thing. It demonstrates a level of intimacy, comfort, and trust with our partners that should be celebrated and enjoyed. Nevertheless, sometimes we reach a point in our physical relationship where we want to shake things up, explore, and simply try something new. This isn’t an impulse that we need to feel ashamed about either—we can hold space for the love of our routine and domesticity with our partners, while equally acknowledging that we’re ready to open up to new experiences.

So how do we go about it? We’ve seen in ourselves a desire to shake things up, and we’ve recognized that nothing is wrong or bad in our relationship and that we have nothing to feel ashamed of. Where do we go from here? The first step requires a little vulnerability and is simply opening up a conversation with our partner. Try not to assume you know how they’re going to react—leave space to be surprised! You never know, they might be thinking the exact same things as you. Just being willing to be open about our sexual desires, needs, and fantasies already goes a long way in re-igniting passion in a relationship—being able to have an open conversation about sex is an incredibly sexy thing already.

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