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An Afternoon with Lucy Sweetkill

Updated: Oct 31, 2023


Dressed in a leather bodysuit and tights while cleaning her toys, SweetKill provided a unique insight into her personal thoughts on kink, power, her personal submissive relationships, and the politics of domination as a woman of color from a traditional family.


Mistress SweetKill, thank you for taking the time to talk with us. Let’s jump right in. What was your first exposure to BDSM, and what attracted you to it?


Well, I have two versions. One was when I was really aware that this is BDSM, like the terms BDSM and kink. And then way before that, on the earlier side, I was sort of playing around with kink and BDSM obviously not knowing what it was. It was just me being kind of a weird, curious kid. I think many people have that same experience. For me, the earliest memories I have around kink or BDSM were actually around pain. When I was a kid, I used to get in trouble for biting people, mostly biting people like my sister or one of my cousins, people I liked. Not biting them because I was mad at them, but because I really liked them. It was my form of affection. Of course, I would get in trouble, because you bite someone—especially as a kid—and then they get hurt and go tell someone that you bit them. So, at a really young age, I realized ‘oh, okay, I’m not supposed to do that’ even though it made me feel really warm inside, just like a hug.

That’s my earliest memory of doing anything around what most people would consider a kink, especially being a self-proclaimed sadist. In regards to my first experience while actually understanding what I was doing, I would say in all honesty it was when I first started pro-domming. I grew up in the Bay Area, so I was surrounded by a lot of alternative sexuality as just part of life, but I never saw it as anything different. I never saw it as alternative because it was just part of our culture; we have Pride and we have Folsom.

I spent my 21st birthday at a [place] called Asia SF, an Asian trans bar, on a stripper pole with a bunch of Asian trans women. Straight friends came, gay friends, all types of friends came because it wasn’t a big deal. There wasn’t what felt like a segregation in all of that, like I see in other places. I actually feel like there’s more of that in New York, but in San Francisco, it’s just part of your life.

When I first started pro-domming in New York, that’s when I officially realized the words [for what I desired]. Like this is what BDSM is, this is what kink is, this is what a dominatrix is. Even though I already kind of knew of them as a general concept, I didn’t really think of them as anything else.

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