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The Tyranny of Choice

Updated: Oct 30, 2023



Dominatrix iris is synonymous with impeccable aesthetics and polished kink content.

As a professional dominatrix for over 15 years, she has not only honed her technical skills but developed a robust psychological fortress in which she ensnares her submissives and teaches them what control really means. Academic Philosopher Eva Young hops on a transatlantic call with Iris to inquire about the ethics of Domme/sub relationships and how she came to embody her eternally kinky lifestyle.


I would love to start off with a little bit of background in terms of how you found yourself working as a dominatrix and how your career evolved to where it is today.


I started as a lifestyle Domina, not a professional Dominatrix. Which seems pretty reasonable, but it's

actually not always the case. Many of my colleagues started their journey in kink as professional Dominatrixes. My story as a Domme began in my personal life. When I was 19, I met this boy in college who was naturally more passive, and would never make the first move. It was the first time I really got to experience being entirely in charge of what happened sexually between me and someone else. I could

just cock tease him mercilessly and not do anything about it, or do whatever I pleased. Being immersed in the sexual tension of having him wrapped around my finger felt good. It felt exciting. It was this moment of: aha, this is what was missing from my life. I grew up in Japan, where you're exposed to quite a bit of kink and fetish from an early age. It's in the media, on television, online, even on kids’ shows, like animation and manga, where there are very pervy scenes and obvious power dynamics between characters. Probably from 10-11 years old I already had the language of what a Domme and sub was—in Japan those roles were labeled as “S and M”.That boy who became my first sub also happened to be Japanese, so we quickly fell into this power dynamic.

We instantly knew what this was about. Gradually, we added things like bondage to enhance the tease, and then tried spanking and other restraint devices and implements. We explored a lot, and that was my entry into BDSM.

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